coral and bells

celebrity girls

2008-02-22T00:17:00.005-05:00

Scarlett Johanssen, at the premiere of what looks like a pretty bad movie (The Other Boleyn Girl), looking like Rami got his hands on her fabric and DRAPED! DRAPED! DRAPED! with passion. because Rami told us, repeatedly, that he is passionate about draping.
Somehow, this silvery dress looks Scarlett look - erm - bulky around the middle. draping is not always such a good idea.

Natalie Portman costars with old Scarlett in this appalling-looking film, but showed up wearing a dress I liked a lot better. Still drapey - maybe Rami is on to something? I dunno....The weird twisty part on the skirt of natalie's dress is weird, but otherwise I think she looks FANTASTIC. I really, really, really love the color of this dress, and wish I had some clothes in that shade of burgundy-red. She also looks ever so much more elegant and glam than Scarlett, who looks like she's had a little too much to drink, and sat all rumply slouchy in the back of a limo for a couple of hours. But Natalie looks like she just came out of Venus's clamshell or something. Draped, of course, a la Rami, in this gorgeous red dress.

Then - Christina Ricci, who I have always liked, shows up somewhere looking like.....someone else. I hate this resurgence of bangs - they don't look cute on a lot of people (Heidi Klum, i am looking at YOU). Christina's face looks too think and too angular, and she looks too tanned and highlighted. brown-and-gold is allright, for what it is, but she always had such a great dark dark hair and pale skin look that suited her well. Here she looks like any other semi-tarty undergrad who can afford the tanning beds and highlights. I don't know if it's the bangs or what, but Christina's face is soooooo pointy! i liked her better with a fuller face. maybe she's had work done? who knows. i liked her better a few years back, though. Here - not so cute. I also don't like her dress, which reminds me weirdly of Kara Janx's "NYC inspiration" crosswalk dress from Project Runway 2. Kara Janx was called on the carpet for that dress too, by the way.

ticky-tacky trash

2008-02-06T23:21:00.000-05:00

oh, Project Runway - wtf? (and ricky: really, dude, W.T.F.?????)

ANY episode, of anything, that features a shopping trip to SPANDEX HOUSE, is not going to be good. no no no. isn't tim gunn's heart shrivelling up with these heinous, tacky challenges? ugly used denim from a filthy warehouse, now "diva" female "wrestlers" in spandex and sequins? REALLY?

are they ever going to get a challenge to make something pretty?

Ricky's time was long overdue. wasn't sorry to see him auf'd. Sweet P struggled, as usual, but managed to be better than Ricky (not so hard, aktualy).

Rami - jesus, Rami! - "draped a little shorts and top" - enough with the drapes! ARGH. and the barbie-pink was yucky. the draping and ruffling was too frou-frou.

Jillian's Bratz-doll costume was boring. I could see why it worked - sporty spice, i mean diva! - but i thought it was just a little plain. short shorts and a top? and she was sewing to the verylast second, as always? I was shocked when ninagarcia said it was her favorite. this confirms my belief that ninagarcia's taste is formed around her personal feelings toward a given designer.

Christian and Chris - again - were the story here. Since they are the only two designers left with anything resembling a personality, we got lots of them. Tacky wrestling gear is right up chris's draggy, costumey
alley, and he thrived. So Chris's Diva and he share a love of leopard-print (Chris darling, I'm hoping that is your lucky shirt, and that's why you ALWAYS WEAR IT). The Diva posed and meowed on the drawing table, and Chris just laughed and ran with it. It was a roomful of camp! This hoodie? i LOVE it. LOVE IT. I love the belled sleeves, i love the dark green sequined lining. I even love the green-leopard print velour fabric. if this was a regular-length hoodie, I would wear it, and I hate animal prints AND sequins. so bravo/a to Chris for creating a killer garment. The strappy bondage top was also ferocious (and how cute is christian's diva name? ferosha coutura!). That gartery thing is edgy - i kind of expect a knife to be tucked in there. It's totally glam and fab without being gaudy or too slutty - it's edgy enough to not look cheap and tacky. I was surprised the judges picked Chris for the win; Christian's was just as impressive. both their costumes were win-worthy; really, i wouldn't be surprised if the judges just flipped a coin for the win.

Christian brought the fierce, as always. when he said "chaps" I almost squealed - how perfect! It's amazing to me that Christian, who really does have a refined sense of high fashion, can also totally get the ticky-tacky aesthetic of WWE diva wrestling. As Professor Gunn notes in his blog, Christian's look is very high fashion even while embracing the - ahem - wrestling-glam aesthetic (read: slutty). Those chaps really are FIERCE, and Christian's delight with his own work was charming. Professor Gunn also writes that he "swooned" over this. And I can see why. I also loved that Christian chose the utterly sexy, but somehow still vaguely "classy," move of covering her up with nothing but a lace top. Having her boobs hang out was too easy and - evidently - too commonplace in the WWE ring (since the girls were falling out when they first met the designers). But nothing but lace is still totally hot and fierce, and Christian is the bomb. Notice though, that darling Princess Puffysleeves has STILL managed to create a short jacket and tight/skinny leggings. I love the way the chaps are ruffled, though, and not just flapping loose cowboy-style. It's feminine and functional and this chick looks FEERS!

these gimmicky challenges have really gotten old, though. Heidi says: "In fashion, you're either in or you're out" - but THIS is not fashion. Nothing from Spandex House is fashion. The designers came up with some good things - C&C Feers Factory in particular - but this is not fashion. Being able to make an ugly-ass tacky costume for WWE diva wrestlers does not qualify anyone to show at Bryant Park. It doesn't make anyone a Top Designer, either. and though it does demonstrate things like versatility, creativity, ability to work under pressure and strange constraints, it also doesn't really tell us much about what these kids can do with Real Fashion.

Mute Monday: collections

2008-01-28T18:02:00.000-05:00

a late entry, not quite as awesome as I had hoped, but still a good "collection."

shoulder pads

2008-01-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

from the fabulous opalescent blog,
photos from spring couture shows. these two are from Gaultier's spring 2008 collection. got that? Gaultier. spring. 2008. couture.

Please note the rather extreme shoulder pads on both of these outfits.

now, kindly scroll down a bit to see the dress that got our chris auf'd in episode 4 (yes, I know he's back, but I NEVER felt good about his aufing in the first place. Ricky's crap was far, far more egregiously bad).

It's hard to tell from this photo (and I couldn't find a good frontal shot), but the biggest criticism of this was - ta-da! - the shoulder pads. The challenge was to "reinterpret" a past trend (and if Gaultier is showing shoulder pads, how past is this trend anyway), and the judges felt Chris used shoulder pads in his garment in a bad way. Michael Kors, I believe, was the one who said it looked like the jacket was still on a hanger.
Setting aside the fabric choice, which I actually kind of liked, but which everyone else has likened to sofa fabric - the silhouette of this little jacketlette is (to my admittedly untutored eye) very like the silhouettes Monsieur Gaultier just shuttled down the runway.
Is it okay because he's Gaultier, and our chris is, well, NOT Gaultier? Is it the color - does black make everything okay?
Hmmmm. This is a Fashion Mystery! but mostly, it's just more proof, for me, that Chris's aufing was the wrong one. I mean - did you SEE that heinousness that Ricky's team sent down the runway? oy. Gaultier isn't showing anything like THAT in his spring collection, I'll tell you that much.

501 Blues

2008-01-23T23:37:00.000-05:00

I do not know what I think of tonight's Project Runway. I am relieved beyond words that the horrible VictorYa is gone. Her "coat" tonight was a joke - sewing fabric to a ready-made jacket does NOT constitute design, or creativity, or anything good.

Christian's denim motocross outfit was cool, but again - skinny jeans and snug ruffled jacket (honey, we've SEEN this before). I loved the bottoms of the jeans he made, though - using the sleeves was inspired, especially since the cuff had the button detail and opening that was hot and boot-y and cool.

Jillian: Ho hum. you made that coat last week, and it looked better then.

Rami: flawlessly sewn but I didn't go WOW. Rami's clothes are always impeccable, but that does not make them interesting.

Chris: Little blue dress. I actually liked it. But what do I know?

Sweet P: good cover, Ms. P. Brava to you for listening to Mr Gunn.

Ricky: holy crap, dude! You made something that wasn't ugly! well done, Ricky! Try to control those tears, though. possibly you need to see a doctor about that.

This challenge was fine, although I think I would have liked it a little earlier on. I feel like I haven't seen much that is BEAUTIFUL on this season, and a lot of that is a result of the challenges (make things with hershey products? old jeans?). Can you just send the designers to Mood and tell them to make a dress for Nicky Hilton or something?

One other complaint, and this is a serious one: ENOUGH with the running challenges. This is the second one this season where physical speed and running affects your materials selection. It's terribly unfair to Chris, who is clearly NOT a runner, and it's uncomfortable to watch him lagging behind. The producers wouldn't force a designer in a wheelchair, or with some sort of prosthetic leg, to participate in a speed race - STOP MAKING THE FAT DUDE RUN! it's just not cool.

I think maybe I'll just keep watching season two over and over again. at least Santino had a personality (a prickly one, yes) that made for good tv. These designers just sit around and sew. BORRRRRING!

finally!

2008-01-17T23:18:00.000-05:00

This week's Project Runway made me very, very happy: finally, at long last, my favorite Chris! had a chance to do his stuff in a very big way (45 yards' worth).

Team challenges are a bit tired, and are difficult to judge when the team works well - who contributed what? My only real complaint is that the team leaders in this challenge were the ones who "could" win or lose. Since they were two-person teams, why not have a winning team and a losing team? something? anything? that acknowledges the bipartite effort.

however.
It is FABULOUS. I love the color, especially against model Marcia's skin tone and coloring. The amount of work that went into this meticulously constructed piece is staggering. 45 yards of organza is a LOT of fabric to measure, cut and sew - thank gods Christian is such a speedy sew-er (I hyphenate because otherwise he's a sewer, like where the alligators live in NYC).

The funny thing about this garment is that something about it seemed really, really familiar to me, and I couldn't figure out why - i'm not connoisseur of avant or couture. Then it came to me - a Tissot painting at the albright-knox (to the right, titled "the ball"). The resemblance between the avant gown and the dress of the woman in this painting is striking, and reminds me that sometimes to be avant one must also be a rebours.

Chris and Christian, who I have really come to adore, worked wonderfully together. Chris had the patience and lack of ego to deal with the Princess, who brings enough ego for all the designers and about 50 other people as well. But Chris's expertise in avant garde design was essential to this gown's success - for both designers, this was a game of mutually assured success (or destruction).

And that is why I wish the judges had spoken more to Chris's contribution. Without the "wing" which is what Chris worked on, this is just a gorgeous ruffly dress. That carnationlike bloom makes it over the top and avant. Both components are what makes this a winner. So I feel a bit badly that only Christian won - both boys deserved a prize. Ending up in the Tresemme ad is groovy, of course, but let's face it: only immunity can save your ass.

Unlike many commenters at Project RunGay, I did NOT see Chris's decision to let Christian be leader as a "safe" move, or a lack of courage on his part. Christian is such a busy force of nature, and has such forceful ideas, that I think he would almost naturally assert himself as leader. And he seemed EAGER to assume leadership. Chris didn't say "I think you should be leader," which would be, to me, the phrasing a "cowardly" person would use. He asked: "do you want to be leader?" (almost in the way a teacher or parent might ask which child wants to be group captain for the day). To me, I read this as Chris recognizing the Princess's enthusiasm and energy, and giving him free reign to run with it. But this was not Princess and her assistant - this was truly, fully a TEAM design.

Throwing the pret-a-porter at them last minute like that was cheesy and chintzy and cheap. Again, the quickness of Princess and Chris saved their metaphorical bacon - the construction of their garment was clearly a massive undertaking, but Chris's experience and expertise, plus Princess's fierce speedy skills enabled them to complete both pieces. Obviously, the avant gown was flawlessly constructed; the pret-a-porter not so much.

The top of this is pretty good at capturing the avant gown's feel - the ruffled placket, the color, the collar. I like it, actually, quite a bit (though it has an unmistakeable stamp of the Princess's past work). The skirt - meh. it's just a skirt. Criticisms saying it looks too secretarial or librarianish don't bother me, since "Librarian" is more or less my own personal aeshetic. There was nothing very wrong with this look, which made it workable as the ready to wear.

Kit lost, which sucks, because she is a far, far better designer than - ohmygod i'm weeping Ricky. He's a nice boy, but couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight. But her dress was a costume, not an avant garde piece. I would have loved to have this dress when I was a little girl. I would have loved for my Barbies to have this dress. Alas, Barbie fashions does not avant-garde make, so au revoir to poor Kit. As Tim Gunn noted on his bravo blog, this gown looks like Marie Antoinette's "shepherdess" costume - not a good thing. I kind of like the pret-a-porter Kit and Ricky made - it was a simple, casual summer dress. The fact that it also looked like something I'd buy at Target or Marshall's makes it good for me personally, but bad for Fashion.

Finally, the two cold bitches of the show, Victorya and Jillian, neither of whom I like. I hate Victorya's aesthetic, and Jillian seems like a one-trick pony.
Being inspired by the mohawk of their model to go 80s punk is - well, it's OBVIOUS. and boring. Mohawk - punk. I think it would have been awesome to read that style as birdlike, the crest of an exotic bird, and to create a plumagey gown with feathers, or featherlike fabrics (Laura Bennet's amazing Woodstock dress keeps coming to mind - feathers and birds CAN be fashion). Creating a plaid-trimmed trenchcoat is - yeah, 80s punk. woo.
I happen to like plaidtrimmed 80s punk, so i thought this coat was to DIE FOR, but it didn't seem too terribly avant to me. And the riding pants? what was UP with the fit of those things? Ook. I hated the pants and blouse - it was like shoddy Ralph Lauren.
The ladies got seriously lucky with their pret-a-porter look, which was almost literally thrown together at the last minute. I thought it was boring and only a reflection of this look in its (minimal) use of the plaid trim and the base color black. it was a boring dress that did nothing for me. Those were two lucky judges' pets on the runway.

anyway, it was beyond obvious almost from the word GO that Princess Puffysleeves and Chris were going to win this one. and i am SO glad to see Chris in the winner's circle - I do adore him, and I never thought his design was auf-worthy when he was auf'd in the first place. He's a doll and I want him to succeed purely on the strength of his personality. I'd take Christian, too, for the win.

Prom!

2008-01-10T00:49:00.000-05:00

well, Project Runway does it again - gag me with a spoooooon!

so: the Prom Challenge! Like Chris, who I adore, I did not attend my prom (junior, yes, senior: no!). I'm not so into Prom Fashion or 17 year old girls, but I think this was a reasonable challenge. Having the girls choose their designer was a nice touch, as was the relative diversity of body types.

This episode was all-Christian, all the time. I go back and forth on him - he needs to be smacked down a bit, but there's also something totally appealing about his unbelievable arrogance at such a young age. The kid is only four years older than the prom-goers, for god's sake! I did feel bad for him, because his model seemed not only opinionated but pushy - I could imagine her literally ripping the dress apart if she didn't like it. What she asked for was appalling bad taste, which didn't give Christian a lot of room to work. The final piece was seriously problematic in construction (wtf happened in the BACK?) but I felt for the guy.

Kevin's elimination was - sort of a surprise. We didn't see much of him or his dress during the show, except the Unfinished Deadly Hemline. I didn't have a problem with the dress, but i didn't really like it either.

Now for the real angst:
VICTORYA? AS WINNER?
were the judges perhaps blinded by the electric blue of her dress? Her model looks TERRIBLE in this photo (stand up straight, for christ's sake!) but the slouchy dumpy-around the shoulders look is heightened by the top of the ugliest dress on the runway. That high waist is quintessential victorYa, who imagines the perfect girl as an ironing board - and that high waist and puffed skirt probably ONLY looks good on an actual ironing board. I hate the halter/collar thing - I thought it looked unfinished and shoddy on the dress form, and then when she pulled out her plastic pirate-treasure "gemstones" I was horrified. I thought: Jesus, this dress will LOSE big time.

and no. the judges LOVED it. How this dress is the winner is beyond me. Darling Tim Gunn, professor and genius, wrote in his bravo blog of this dress: "“the jewel emblazoned panel on the front of the halter made the dress look more appropriate for a hostess at a vegas cocktail lounge than a teenager attending a suburban prom."

Speaking of which: the judges are profoundly out of touch with reality. As a person who works daily with college undergrads, sophisticated, red-carpet, plunging necklines are EXACTLY what these girls want (and are wearing) for their proms. They don't want high necks and ruffles and pinafores and ankle-length hems. These girls go for real, hard-core glam, which VictorYa's dress was NOT. And the judges criticised a number of the dresses for being too sophisticated - honeys, that is what your basic 17 year old girl WANTS. were they expecting pigtails and hershey kisses dresses for this prom-goers????

So: Sweet P's gown was freaking gorgeous. She made wise decisions, and I think the dress is glamorous without looking tarty or strange. The color was nice, the cut was nice, the fit was good. I think the girl could have done with a little more in the bosom department to really pull this off, but I could totally picture her (or any girl) wearing that dress to her prom and loving it. It had a nice sort of old-hollywood look to it that I appreciated. Myself, I would have found some killer vintage jewelry (diamonds! i mean cubic zirconia!), an awesome vintage handbag and some glam-as-hell shoes and rocked the shit out of this dress. It was fantastic, world's better (and honestly, more likely to appeal to the target audience) than Victorya's sack of ugliness.

The Crime of the Evening goes to the judges for dismissing Chris's exquisite,,gorgeous garment. Tim Gunn referred to it as "superb" on his blog, so I know I'm not just being biased in favor of my dear darling Chris. He absolute nailed it with the color of this dress - not every girl can wear this shade of green, but this one CAN, and it looked fun, youthful AND sophisticated all at once. The cut of this was incredibly flattering to the model (who has such a great pose in this photo!). I love the flowy bit in the front (and in the back - I wish I could find a back-view photograph). THIS is a prom dress: kicky, sassy (that shade of green) but totally sexy, sophisticated as hell (in cut/silhouette) and gorgeous on this girl's figure and with her complexion. I HOPE she gets to take this gown to her prom, and that everyone oozes with envy. Chris or Sweet P should have been the winner - this is just such a glorious, glorious gown. I could picture either Chris's or Sweet P's dress on a red carpet - and that's the kind of dress girls want for their prom. NOT some heinous bunched sack with pseudo jewels glued on.

The photos below are not laid out well, and blogger won't let me make it pretty, but I wanted to see all three dresses near each other. I think when you look at all three next to each other, you can see how heinous VictorYa's is. Her dress is just unflattering, unattractive and tacky. And maybe would appeal to a young teenager, but by 17 or 18 - these girls want sexy and glamorous, not eye-searing blue and fake jewels.

Mute Monday: submission

2007-12-10T01:45:00.000-05:00

what the bejesus?!?!?!?

2007-12-06T02:31:00.000-05:00

I am the first person to admit to having little or no real solid fashion sense - I have no idea what's hot NOW. i realize my taste level may be questionable.

but tonight's Project Runway decision was - well, wrong. I LIKE Ricky, even, but his team's pieces looked like a 12-year old's dance recital costumes circa 1989.

And Chris - busted for having shoulder pads that "stuck out"! That "looked like it was on a hanger"!

I am young, but I am old enough to remember the 80s. and i know what shoulder pads are. How in god's name can you update shoulder pads, and make them relevant to today? OF COURSE the shoulder-padded jacket looked outdated; shoulder pads ARE outdated. How can you reinterpret the shoulder pad without making something costumey or 80s-looking?

i mean, the SHOULDER PAD?
are they kidding?

Mute Monday: colors, Part Two of Special Double Edition

2007-12-02T23:19:00.000-05:00

Mute Monday: COLORS - special double edition!

2007-12-02T23:13:00.001-05:00

things i don't understand

2007-12-01T11:18:00.000-05:00

there are a lot of things i don't understand, but some puzzle me more than others:

Tila Tequila: who is she? why should i care? and why would anyone want a shot at love with her?

Movies with the premise that some hot actress can't get a date: i find these hard to believe. It's also hard to feel sorry for, say, Jennifer Aniston.

The Real Housewives of Orange County: i don't understand how people like that can exist. i understand even less why anyone would want to watch them. i guess it makes you, the viewer, feel superior, but i don't need to look at a bunch of dumb orange bunnies to feel smart. The Real Housewives should also be called The Terrible Mothers of Orange County.

Undergraduates who think it is okay to whip out their sidekicks and text away DURING CLASS. right in front of their instructor.

Why are the 80s back? I don't understand. Most of that shit looked bad the first time around. Second time around, it looks even worse.

Why people stopped wearing hats. Hats are sexy, they are cute, they are amazing accessories. WHY did hats fall out of fashion? And by hats I mean circa 1930s and 1940s. Little pillboxes and scraps of veiling and the occasional crushed-velvet flower. Fedoras and such for the gentlemen. I love hats and wish they would come back. And I HATE those newsboy caps that people wear. Ugh.

Speaking of which: when will Uggs go away? aren't they already out of style? so why do i see so many girls wearing them?

Project Runway this week: Who is Tiki Barber? Why should I care? Why did the designers pretend to be excited, then admit (in their 'confessionals') that they didn't know who he was? A roomful of queeny designers and punkrock chicks aren't Tiki Barber's target audience. Also, Mrs Barber was kinda.....well, let's just say she looks like a Bratz doll. And we won't even go INTO the hot mess that the designers sent down the runway. I thought Jack's (winning?) design was too stripy and hideously dull. Kit's preppie blazer look was my "favorite," a term which here means "didn't look like poop on a stick." The fleece blazer was a nifty choice.

Mute Monday: fashion

2007-11-16T03:38:00.001-05:00

coral and bells announces: Sexiest Man Alive!

2007-11-15T18:09:00.000-05:00

Currently, the Sexiest Man Alive is: Mike Farrell, circa 1979 (the glorious year of my birth). He's delightful now, but when I watch M*A*S*H - ooooooh.

Last night's TVLand rerun had a SHOWER SCENE! it was, you know, pretty tame because it was early 80s tv and we hadn't had dennis franz's pasty ass on the networks yet, but still.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.There are no photos that i can find that do justice to him. Tall, lanky, hot. the pink thermal shirts! the army green pants! and oh gods!!! the chuck taylors!

My all-time current Sexiest Man Alive, however, goes that darling dreamboat:

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT!
Who's your top pick? now, or of all time?

sexiest man ....are you kidding me???

2007-11-14T14:01:00.000-05:00

cnn.com reports that people magazine has selected its latest "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."

and that man is...............

Matt Damon?

Matt DAMON?

are you kidding me?

to whom is Matt Damon the sexiest man alive, besides maybe some 14 year old girls? Does Matt Damon shave yet? What is sexy about him? He's like the least sexy man out there. He's cute, for sure, but in a totally toothless, unsexy way.
I spend my days on a college campus. Every day, I see 19 and 20 year old boys who look like this. And I think: "cute, but just a kid."
Looking like you're still going through puberty is not sexy. sorry, but it isn't. What has Matt Damon ever done that was sexy?

Here are some examples of sexy, like real, actual, SEXXXY:

Rufus Wainwright. Youthful, yes, but he's got a little smolder about him. You can imagine him actually getting down and dirty. Matt Damon, I imagine him looking at Playboy and giggling about boobies.

Johnny Depp. A Classic. My own mother loves him. 10 year old girls love him. Wide appeal. He's got the smolder, too. And he seems like the sort of person who would be amazing in bed AND make you laugh. This is an unbeatable combination, in my book. And he's aged astonishingly well: this is an actual, grown-up man, not a boy.

And here we have Gale Harold, who has a most unfortunate name, but is quite the sexy man. I know him from Queer as Folk, which has - oh, probably HOURS - of screen time with Gale shirtless and/or naked. This guy has one hot body, and I'm not usually all that impressed with that sort of thing. But watch pretty much any episode of QaF and you will be treated to a most delightful, and sexy, sight. Gale also does possibly the best Face of Scorn and Contempt I have ever seen (you get a hint of it in this picture - perhaps he was just told that Matt Damon is sexiest man alive?).

So: to recap. these are just a few of the truly sexy famous men out there. and People Magazine (or was it Teen People?) went and chose

matt damon.

mute monday: party

2007-11-11T22:33:00.001-05:00

dancing with the stars?

2007-11-07T02:30:00.000-05:00

why do people go on that show? I've never seen more than a minute or two of it, but every time I read or hear something about it, and the "stars" who dance, I cringe and feel really embarrassed.

tonight's provocateur (provocateuse?): jennie garth.

just....why?

reality shows with "celebrities" are embarrassing.

Union YES!

2007-11-05T21:19:00.001-05:00

So the Writers' union has gone out on a strike. For the people who watch scripted shows, this is not so good (scripted shows include everything from soap operas to Letterman, Leno & co to Grey's Anatomy).

For myself, the only scripted shows I watch are the ones shown late at night on TVLand - Golden Girls! Roseanne! M*A*S*H! and of course, Queer as Folk which I get on DVD anyway, so the strike doesn't have major impact on my personal entertainment habits.

But I always support a workers' strike. It doesn't matter if it's the teamsters or teachers or writers or nurses or needletrades or hotel workers. Strikes only happen when both sides - BOTH sides - are stuck. Obviously, the studios and producers of the shows are not playing fairly with the writers - this issue is about revenue from DVD and internet sales of shows, by the way. People should be paid, and paid fairly, for their work. DVD/internet sales are huge business, and the writers - the people who CREATE the product, really - should get a reasonable and fair piece of the pie.

We tend not to think about the writers of films and tv shows. we never see them, unless, like Tina Fey they also act in their shows. But THEY are the people who come up with the gripping plotlines, the bizarre situations, the one-liners. They invent the characters, through dialogue, and that's no mean feat. I *always* support writers (well, good ones) and I certainly support the Writers' Guild on this one.

It should be interesting to see what happens. Reality tv booms in such times - they are unscripted shows. But Letterman, Leno & co are already on shut-down. Most sitcoms and dramas have a few shows in the can, to last a few more weeks: but then, it's time for re-runs. I wonder if the studio/producers will cave. I wonder if people will become even MORE addicted to shitty reality TV (Project Runway coming up....wait: is that a scripted show?????).

The writers' strike has support from the teamsters, who said over the weekend they won't cross picket lines (go teamsters!). but the shut-down of production affects thousands and thousands of wallets and pocketbooks across the land: all the crew, staff, location people - out of work.

Meanwhile, I'll be sitting pretty with the last season of Queer as Folk, and the Golden Girls. Though on the surface, you'd think those two are very different, but there's a broad streak of queerness running through the Golden Girls (and I'm not talking about Bea Arthur, either).

happy striking - best of luck to the writers!

dumbledore gay?

2007-10-23T22:43:00.001-04:00

This is a copy of a message I posted to a professional listserv to which I belong, in response to the list's discussion of J.K. Rowling's "outing" of Dumbledore.

I always look for the queer. I've wanted there to be some queerness in HP for years. I really do like the books a LOT, and re-read them frequently. But I'm only totally critically blinded by one author (Philip Pullman), and JKR pisses me off (pardon my language). I have my queer-spotting goggles on all the time (tongue-in-cheek), and I never got that special feeling when i read Dumbledore. He wears purple and likes chamber music - are those my queer cues? He was intellectual best-buddies with Grindelwald? Again - not too erotic.

And I would argue that sexuality matters, always. The absence of Dumbledore's alleged homosexuality is a glaring kind of presence in the texts. He isn't written as gay; he's written as friendly old God. It's cheap and cowardly to claim queerness so long after the fact. And yeah, the books have Harry's POV, but he's not a 5-year-old happily cuddling with his friendly gay teachers; he's a teenager, especially after book 4, who understands the world in a sexualized and complex way. We also get a LOT of secondary reportage on Dumbledore, and - I'd have to re-read for sure - I don't recall any hints of Dumbledore's gayness. He's "mad" and "eccentric" which maybe signal gay - eccentric old bachelors means gay, right??? in 1940 or so? There are also Dudley's weird anti-gay jokes in early Book 5 - he makes jokes about Harry saying "Cedric" in his sleep. And Harry's enraged (which in some ways, he should be - being taunted about Cedric sucks, but I can't help reading that as partly the defensive anger of straight gays when they are accused of being gay).

Waller made me grin with relief when he stated, emphatically, there IS no Dumbledore other than those marks on the page. I frankly don't give a flying fig what Rowling had in her mind for 15 years. In MY mind, for years, I've had any number of things, none of which exist. I've got a whole delightful invented backstory for Howell, before he becomes Wizard Howl (in Diana Wynne Jones's outstanding book, Howl's Moving Castle). This doesn't make it TRUE. I believe in story, and creativity, and storytelling, but Rowling is obsessively controlling about her texts in a way that makes me want to call bullshit.

MY take: how could you possibly create a rich and loving and emotionally complex relationship between the gay male headmaster and a male student without everyone and his grandma shrieking PEDOPHILE!!! ?? I keep thinking of the scene in Book 5 when Dumbledore cries as he tells Harry how much he, Dumbledore, loves Harry. Put your queer goggles on (insert homophobia lenses first) and suddenly you have a creepy pedophilic predator on your hands.

I really resent the way Rowling continually fleshes out her books in interviews and talks. I don't CARE if it's in response to a question asked by a paraplegic little girl with cancer who was orphaned in a third-world country; if this stuff is so important to OUR understanding of the texts, it had better be in the books. I'm pretty loosey-goosey on my fetishization of The Book, and still this bothers me.

In another context: I don't want Philip Pullman to tell me what happens to Will; I want him to MAKE it happen through writing. JKR's statements about her characters are like me discussing the garden I have in my head, but that doesn't yet exist, and possibly never will. My tulips and apple trees and weigela and climbing roses are fabulously detailed in my head. But until I turn the soil and plant them, they aren't real.

the thing is, I really do like these books. I like imagining the Potterverse, I like daydreaming about the classes at Hogwarts, and the contents of Honeydukes, and what the limitations on magic might be. But if Rowling has more story to tell, she needs to write it down. If she can't let go of her Potterverse, then she either needs to continue developing and creating it, or she needs a good therapist.

for the teachers

2007-10-16T02:04:00.000-04:00

So today I'm getting my knickers in a twist over people who denigrate teachers. If you're one of the ones who think teachers have a cushy, easy job, don't work full time, loll around while rolling in big big bucks - you are WRONG.

I think it's actually hideously unfortunate that teachers' salaries are made public, and are in any way hinged to voters. Voters are cheap as all hell. They don't want to pay for ANYTHING.

That said: I am the child of public school teachers. We NEVER rolled in dough. we were perfectly comfortable, but there weren't a lot of extras in my house. my mom bought our back-to-school clothes at Kmart and Sears. sometimes JCPenney's. she worked only part-time, so my dad was the primary breadwinner. both of my parents hold Master's degrees in education and/or their subject area.

Now, I teach myself, in college. I'm still a novice, as a grad student, but I cannot believe the amount of time teaching takes. Grading - it takes forever. And I only have 20-40 papers at a time! The time you're actually in the classroom is the least of it. Students contact me all the time. I have responsibilities to my department and university. I spend hours and hours prepping for class - reading the weekly text, reading additional critical or historical texts, doing my own close reading, preparing questions, making connections, planning on how to run the class. I'd guess, counting office hours and time in class, I spend 15-20 hours a week on my class. and i currently only teach ONE course.

My dad taught for 35 years, in a middle school (35 years of 12-and13-year olds, imagine!). He was at school daily from about 7:15 to after 4:00. He'd come home with a case full of papers, or lesson planning material. He participated in extracurriculars, for awhile. He planned field trips for his students. He spoke to other teachers and parents on the phone. He worked HARD all through the school year.
Yep - he got a week or so off at Christmas and again at easter. I didn't realize until I was in high school that that wasn't standard practice for all jobs. And I honestly think it should be. Who in the HELL needs to work on Dec 23, 24 and 26th? No one. it isn't my, or teachers' fault that the American "work ethic" is so backwards.

Now: summers off. You're damn straight he got summers off. He didn't have a second job. Instead, I have memories of him watching hours of C-span, and reading history books (he taught history). I have REALLY spectacularly clear memories of being dragged around to museums (not bad) and battlefields (horrid). we visited historic sites. He collected materials to use in class.
it isn't non-stop work, of course. He mowed the lawn and lounged around, too. But he didn't make big money. After 35 years of spending 8 hours a day with other people's children, he made maybe $70K a year. That's the TOP END of his pay. He got a nice retirement deal; the state offered incentives for older teachers to leave earlier (it's cheaper, in the end, to let older teachers go and to pay new teachers their low starting salary).

Many teachers in public schools hold advanced degrees. Those are costly, and I've yet to hear of a district that helps pay off those loans. And people with advanced degrees expect, and receive, more pay. Teachers are paid comfortably, for sure. But they are not paid lavishly. And we expect miracles from them, especially with elementary age kids. In my own short short time teaching I've done grad school and career advising to students; I've been the shoulder to cry on when a female student had an abortion; and I hand-held another through angst over being gay. I don't get paid for any of that. But it goes with the territory.

You leave your children with these people, with teachers, every day for 16 years, and you begrudge every damn penny you pay in taxes. Your taxes pay teachers' salaries, but they also provide your kids with athletic programs, buses, computers, A/V supplies, a library, a cafeteria, textbooks, extras like music and art.

Most people who become teachers do it because they want to teach, not because they are lazy. There's a contingent for sure who do it because they think it's easy, and you get summers off. But how many doctors are there who are in it only for the money? or lawyers? There are bad and lazy workers in every field. Many of them make far more than any public school teacher ever will.

A good teacher is a prize to be cherished. Think of your own good teachers. Think of what they did for you. Then think of what they could have done for you, had they been better. We ought to be recruiting and compensating the absolute BEST people we can into the field, instead of beating down and bitching about the ones already doing the best they can.

Like I said: I've always stood up for teachers, and known it wasn't a cakewalk of a job. But once I started doing it myself, my respect increased exponentially. It's HARD to do this. I only have 40 students, in one class. On average, my dad had seven classes, total of160-180 students, a day.

be kind to your teachers. support them. vote in school budgets - the only people who ever get hurt by defeated budgets are the kids.

love teachers.

Mute Monday

2007-10-14T22:12:00.001-04:00

love.

query

2007-10-09T00:05:00.000-04:00

Has anyone, or will anyone, ever watched that "Better Half" show Bravo has vomited up?

not even for the sake of curiosity will i tune in to that shite. i don't know who the hell the "host" is - susie essman? wtf?
and it looks hetero in the extreme. i don't watch Bravo for the straight-shit. i watch for the fabulosity.

also, the concept of this show is just - really, really uninteresting.
and dumb.

glamourpuss

2007-10-08T22:04:00.000-04:00

Came across this picture of the increasingly immobile-faced Nicole Kidman on - maybe the superficial?

It's rare, in the current age of tacky-ass strangely shaped clothing, that I see any fashion that I like being worn by an actual human. I see runway models (not entirely human) and I see photographs and store dummies with clothes I like, but it is just very unusual for me to see a person wearing something and for me to think: GORGEOUS outfit!

but when I saw Ms Kidman in this lovely white dress, I thought: GORGEOUS dress. I like the ruffle detail at the waist. Not a good place to add volume, I know, but she's so slim she can make it work. I'm not 100% crazy about the asymmetrical neckline but I like the overall silhouette of this dress. I'm not sure if you can see her slip (oh mary! your slip is showing!), or if it's an underskirt kind of thing, but either way: this is a lovely gown. and weirdly enough, the color is great for her.

Just don't look too closely at her face. It's like staring into a pool of wax.

mute monday (second attempt)

2007-10-07T21:15:00.000-04:00

Mute Monday: BOYCOTT

burden of (non) representation

2007-09-29T23:12:00.000-04:00

I'm well into season two of QUEER AS FOLK, after watching the first season in a headache-inducing two days. I have to say I was kind of bored/unhappy with large parts of season one: Dr David was boring and annoying (I've known too many guys like him to really warm up to him on tv). The dear boys spent way too much time at babylon. Mel and Lindsey got on my nerves, as they do EVERY EPISODE!

i'm learning to appreciate the Brian Kinney character, and more importantly, learning to crush hard on Gale Harold, who played Brian.

And Emmett. My darling honeylove Emmett! I don't get why they play him as someone who has a hard time getting laid. I think he's freaking hot as hell. Emmett Honeycutt is almost my perfect man (aside from the gay thing). I even had a dream in which Emmett and I hooked up. Turns out in dreams, gay/straight don't count for ANYTHING! and the dream-Emmett was delighted to learn that a straight girl could be turned on by queeny effeminate behaviors.

I love Sharon Gless; I love Debbie and Vic. Debbie feels really familiar to me; she's the most Pittsburgh thing about that show. and I love her throaty hoarse voice!

but the more i watch, the more i think: debbie is the only straight person in the show. and she, as michael says, is "more of a fag than we are."

it makes me feel sad and left out, which is fine, since gays and everyone else who isn't a white person feel sad and left out from most tv. sometimes it's good to be in the minority. it helps reconfirm that I am, in fact, part of the majority. i am a woman, which gets me some bonus points, but a straight white woman still has it better than any color and any queer (except maybe some white gay men).

but what makes me saddest is the anti-hetero attitudes of the show's characters. i know we, the audience, aren't supposed to agree with Brian Kinney's "two kinds of straight people: the ones who hate you to your face, and the ones who hate you behind your back." but there isn't much countering it.

there doesn't need to be. there doesn't have to be. it just makes me feel bad that - well, i LIKE gay people. i haven't had a gay friend since college, but all the queers I've ever known in any capacity I've liked (wait no: there's this one bitch in my department, but he's the exception). i'm interested in queer culture, whatever that even means. it's part of what i work on professionally. it's part of what i enjoy personally (witness: queer as folk, and the nonstop stream of Gay Disco Hits in my iPod). i've always liked gays and gayness and gay stuff.
i just wish i felt like they'd like me.

i keep wanting to volunteer through the GLBT organization in town. but i'm afraid if i call, or show up at their center, they'll be like "honey, you're too straight to be here. go home."
and really - do i belong there? I'm especially interested in GLBT kids - teenagers, especially. i'd love to volunteer with high school outreach stuff. but - how can I help a queer kid?

i know i stereotype the gay community when i rave about it - i know a lot of gay people are just boring assholes. i know this because a lot of the human population is boring assholes. but in the last year, I've felt more interested, more engaged by, more comfortable with queer culture than ever before.

ah well. for the moment, i suppose my interaction with queer communities will have to be limited to places like the GayBoys' blog. and watching more and more episodes of Queer as Folk.

queer as folk

2007-09-18T16:15:00.000-04:00

I stumbled upon Queer as Folk a month or so ago, on late-night logo tv. I'd never seen the show, since cable only happened to me in the last year. But I watched an episode, and liked it, plus I was tickled pink that it's set in Pittsburgh (fyi: the queer as folk pittsburgh is not much like the real place. brian's loft, the industrial settings - yes. Debbie - HELLS YES. her house is spot on. but throngs of gay folks nuzzling down a rainbow-flagged street? nope on a rope. at least none I've ever seen. also: it's sort of goofy that the main "queer district" in the show is Liberty Avenue. I am sure this seems like an idealistic cliche [why not just have them live on Queen Street? Or Freedom Boulevard) BUT: Liberty Avenue is actually a major Pittsburgh thoroughfare (east and west liberty ave. some of it cuts through the "little italy" of bloomfield. some through the Strip District, which is repurposed industrial space).

ANYWAY: i am HOOKED on this show. Yesterday I committed the very foolish error of renting the complete Fourth Season dvds from the library. Eventually, I plan to watch all the seasons. but Logo is currently running episodes from the fourth/fifth season, so I am not totally out of the loop.

I LOVE this show. I love everyone on it. and let's face it, the love/sex scenes are super hot. yesterday was a horribly distracting scene between Michael and Ben that was surprisingly (to me) graphic. it was steamy.

but i like the show. i like what I know of gay culture and the queer community. I don't like the obligatory lesbian couple on the show; they seem sort of smarmy. and - yes, i know sexy lesbians abound, but all the lesbians I'VE ever known looked a little more....dykeish than Mel and Lindsey.

I am in total love with Peter Paige. I adore Emmett. I like Debbie a lot - she's very familiar to me, as a child of two rust belt cities. I am puzzled by alpha-male Brian, and Justin. I need to see more episodes to try to understand how that works. Ted annoys the shit out of me. I can't stand the way he talks. I love Shanda Leer. Holy hell!

yeah. it's a great show. I can't speak to the realities of being a gay man in Pittsburgh (or anywhere else). but it's such a wonderfully drama-tv show that i can't help but watch it.

I saw the "Faerie" episode yesterday, and laughed my ass off. it was so great - i went to a very hippie college (we had a yurt!) and so the Faerieness of the fairies was recognizable and amusing to me.

Oh, and Robert Gant as Ben is a dream. I love that he's a professor/intellectual. LOVE it. and i love that his partner Michael owns a comic book store.

Queer as folk: a very good idea!

trying my hand/mute monday

2007-09-17T03:25:00.001-04:00

Mute Monday (first time ever)

SWEET.

a winner!

2007-09-17T02:52:00.000-04:00

After an excruciating reunion show, in which SparkleJosh's reference to Tammy Faye was the highlight, Ms Fabulous Kim was announced the winner of hgtv's Design*Star 2.

I voted for her, of course! Mainly because of all the designers after Sparkle, she was the only one whose personality was not merely watchable, but actually enjoyable. She's cute, funny, clever, crafty and I think she'll make a lovely host.

Some of Kim's rooms were - not as fabulous. Way Newton's guesthouse kitchen (above) in which she was yoked to the heinous Robb, is not fabulous (or finished). As everyone as noted, the furniture was not well balanced. But she chose a great buffet, and I loved the tile-look mirrors she chose, as well as the wall color.

Her "deserving" design, the "rustic livingroom" at the right, was - well, let's face it: she had shit-all to work with from the beginning. Her challenge was enormous, and she had some limitations placed on her (the family did not want a hard wood or laminate floor, for instance). I like the colors she chose, and the addition of a dining space was a lovely, thoughtful touch.

This is "sumptuous simplicity," from the dollar-store challenge (which was kind of a crappy one, I think; I resented very much that the spaces were more art piece - they didn't need to be functional. wtf?). I have to say: I really like what Kim did here. It shows real ingenuity and creativity, along with some real artistic, or craftistic, ability. The rice-and-peas "rug" is genius. The paper plate "leaves" on the walls are great. I LOVE the shades of brown and pink she chose. And the coffee table "mosaic" is brilliant; i'm contemplating a similar paint trick in a small space in my own house. It was a weird challenge, but I think Kim managed to pull off some REALLY strong elements (with a few weaker ones, admittedly). I like this space!

And the finale, the Hawaiian daydream suite! Kim excelled here, she really did. And compared to the Hammerhead Shark and Jellyfish "decor" next door, Kim was absolutely a shoo-in for winner.
My favorite elements in this space? I loved the wooden cutouts she used (you can see some reflected in the mirror above the sofa). I LOVE the palette she used - that aqua-and-chocolate in the kitchenette is to die for. And the rich tangerine on the wall is well set off by the more sedate browns of the room. It wasn't a hysterical burst of color; it was a thoughtful mix of colors that ended up looking both very Hawaiian-vacation-fun AND luxurious. Even though her room divider was unfinished, the idea is great. and i'm inclined to cut slack on things like that, especially since it's only in close-ups that it's visible. And you know in a real world project, it would never be left undone.

anyway, Kim is a totally fabulous choice, and I am definitely looking forward to seeing her new show in the spring! (I must say, I hope it's better than what poor sweet darling David Bromstad has been reduced to.....).

Many congratulations to KIM!!!!!

top chef/music blogging

2007-09-12T23:30:00.000-04:00

Au revoir, CJ! i enjoyed your tallness. i liked your sense of humor. also your tallness (i like tall lanky guys, okay?). and you seemed like a decent sort.

too bad about those broccolini things. bummer. but you're a champ.

Okay - yeah, I got not much for Top Chef anymore. the challenges seem - well, overly challenging. how does it really test these chefs to prepare airplane food? they already had the bertoli prepackaged food challenge....do they really need another? and cooking in unfamiliar, cramped quarters? how does that legitimately test a chef's cooking abilities?

I feel like the commercials during the show were more captivating and colorful. even darling bourdain couldn't perk things up.

That said, I acquired the song from the new iPod nano ad as soon as the show ended. i have an "old school" nano in original black and i'm not in the market for the new one. but the song in the ad is catchy and appealing. it's called "1234" and it is by Feist.

and i like it. so there!

Jeff Lewis' Open House

2007-09-12T01:46:00.000-04:00

Tonight's "Open House" hosted by that eternal irritant Andy Cohen (GET RID OF HIM AS A HOST PLEASE) was okay. It confirmed my sense that Jeff Lewis excels at sarcasm and deadpan humor. and i LOVE THAT.

I was also intrigued to notice that Jenni was listed as "series consultant" in the credits.

Nottingham turned out so beautifully; I felt a little sad that Ryan and Chloe are having to move out already.

But here's my issue: WHERE THE HELL WAS MY BOWMAN??????
they showed him in clips from the show.
but never once mentioned his name, nor did he appear in the special (though everyone else from the show's credits DID - even Zoila and the Trash Guy).

I will really miss that show. I hope it comes back for more.

and for the record, I don't think Jeff's lips are all that weird.

kim ftw

2007-09-10T02:57:00.000-04:00

(image taken from cuteoverload.com)

Kim! Kim! Kim!

come on, her final design is lovely - I'd be delighted to stay there, in her tropical punch suite. the aqua and brown are a favorite color combo of mine.
I'll do a full blather about this episode, but I LOVE the wooden cut-outs on the left in this photo (against the orange). The placement, the shapes themselves, all of it: gorgeous. I even love the screen she built to divide the seating from the kitchen area.

Todd's suite has a drawing of a hammerhead shark in it.

this one is a no-brainer.

VOTE FOR KIM! voting closes at noon on wednesday (est), so hit the polls! I still haven't figured out how to send text messages so i'm stuck with once-a-day internet voting, but for those with textability, VOTE!

top chef? what's top chef?

2007-09-06T02:50:00.000-04:00

Well, Top Chef tonight was TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY overpowered by the preview episode of Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. I'm joining the Tim Gunn/Project Runway bandwagon a little late in the game, but I'm not doing it by halves: I LOVE Tim Gunn. everything about him is just flawless. He's gorgeous, he's articulate, he's intelligent, he is impeccable, he's kind, he's confident without being arrogant - in short, he is perfection in man form.

Tonight's show had a tarty woman in her early 40s being un-tarted. The premise of the show is delightfully simple: help fashion victims to help themselves. Identify the worst in their wardrobes, and show how they can get a "similar" effect (ie, sexy) but in a much more stylish and appropriate way. My favorite bit was - well, aside from the Tart's Wardrobe, and gorgeous veronica webb's well-timed "it looks slutty" remark - my favorite part was the computer model.

It's got some high-tech name, but basically it's a paper doll of YOU (or the Tart, in this case)>. Tim says: "we used 25 different measurements to create this model of your body." (WHAT are those 25 measurements? I shudder to think). The point of this exercise is not style, but form and silhouette, and it's brilliantly helpful. The computer program throws different garments on the paperdoll, and then the Tart decides if they work in terms of shape, form, silhouette. It isn't about fashion - they are really just iconic representations of a shape of clothing - but about FORM. so the boxy long jacket on the Tart was a huge no-no, but the wrap dress, or higher-waisted pants, were A-OK. and you can see it clearly because it isn't YOU, it's just a paperdoll with 25 of your measurements.

I totally want a paperdoll of myself to play with. I had neat ones as a kid where there clothes stuck on magnetically.

anyway, it was inspiring but i thought the trenchcoat dress was ugly. I actually thought it was just a trenchcoat until the very end, when it turned out to be just a dress. I also didn't like the big ole Coach purse the Tart received for playing paperdolls with Tim Gunn, but that is because I like smaller bags (though not the tiny evening handbags the Tart previously used).

In the end, the Tart was de-tartified, her husband and daughter were no longer embarrassed, and they got rid of her tired-looking hair. She still had that awful tacky New Jersey accent, but Tim Gunn didn't hook her up with HIS elocutionist (I wish he would; I wish every man in America could speak like Tim Gunn).

the best thing about this show, besides the peacock blue wall in Tim's office, and glamourous Tim himself, is that it is actually helpful to women who don't all look like Veronica Webb. The Tart had a pretty good figure, but she was by no means flawless or even close to it. She looked like a real woman, with a real woman's body.

Oh, and on Top Chef, Howie finally got eliminated, and Hung built a smurf village out of whipped cream and crushed FrootLoops.

flipping out: FINIS

2007-09-04T23:10:00.000-04:00

tonight was the last real episode of Flipping Out, I show I have thoroughly fallen in love with. The neuroses of everyone involved are delightful; Ryan is a total doll, as is his little girl Chloe (and, tonight for the first time, we see Dale, Ryan's partner - he's a doll too!). I like houses and design; I bought a house last year for the first time, so I still remember most of the process. The whole show is just kick-ass. and queer as pants! plus, Oliver the dog is one of the most adorable dogs I have ever seen.

Watching Jeff kick ass over the leaky roof at Nottingham (on Ryan's behalf, really) made me wish I had had HIM on my team when the contractors were fucking shit up at my house last year. Jeff would NEVER have allowed them to track drywall dust all over the house, splatter paint on the brand-new floor, install vinyl flooring in the kitchen then scratch the heck out of it.....or any of the other craptastic problems I find on a weekly basis around here.

Tonight's episode was bittersweet: my crush on house assistant Bowman was wounded by Jeff's "downsizing" of Bowman to two days a week. This was followed by me smacking my forehead when Jeff said: "Stephen's working on his dream of being a makeup artist." A makeup artist!?! really?!!!!??

Will I ever find a STRAIGHT MAN attractive again? jesus, it's like I'm a walking gaydar system. wanna know if a guy is queer? just ask me; if i'm attracted to him, he's bound to be gay!

Maybe i'm stereotyping too much, but....my money's on Bowman is gay. either way, he's super-hot (in my eyes!) and I love his personality. sarcasm is sexy!

I will very seriously miss this show, and I hope like hell it gets a second season. I'll tune in to see what's happening in Jeff Lewis's Office!

design star 6 - "deserving" design

2007-09-03T23:43:00.000-04:00

Episode Six repeats a challenge from last year's Design Star: the three finalists are randomly assigned a redesign project and sent to locations across the country. This year, the three families were located in California, Indiana and West Virginia.

Before I go on, I need to say that I'm conflicted about this concept of "deserving" design. The families are chosen on some sort of need-based criteria. This also seems like a prelude to Vern Yip's new show, "Deserving Design." This smacks a little too much of the "deserving poor" which has a lot of connotations I don't really like. It's also loaded down with ideological weight; for example, the Indiana family was made up of six children (ages 16 to 18months) and the parents are both firefighters. Their "before" room was basic but nothing hideous. Why choose them? Presumably because the parents are "first responders" - everyday American Heroes!

In California, we had Bridget, a young teenage girl with some condition that requires her to remain wheelchair bound (her bones break exceedingly easily). Will ended up as her designer, and did what I thought was an outstanding job.

Todd drew the "easiest" challenge - swanking out an already-okay livingroom for the firefighters and their spawn.

Kim got the saddest one: designing the livingroom for a young couple (with baby) in West Virginia. He is a coal miner.

The rooms:
Will is just amazing. I love his aesthetic, even though it isn't MY style. He uses color well, I think, and in this episode in particular, he was really sensitive to the needs of his wheelchair bound, teenage client (and teen girl would be hard enough!). I like the colors he used, though I'd never choose them myself. My mom hates the green sofa, but i actually like it a lot. One of the design features Will pointed out was that, by painting the walls in color blocks with a white border, it makes the ceiling seem lower, so that from a wheelchair, one would feel in a reasonably-sized space. He also installed a refrigerator and a kick-ass media center. He kept it clean and simple, gave Bridget loads of places to lounge around while recuperating from injuries (that darker blue square is a padded "side" board to the bed, so she can sit up sideways or lengthwise on her bed. The one thing I felt the room was lacking was some sign of BRIDGET'S personality; the space is almost too clean. There should be a few trinkets or photos or something around that indicate that this room actually belongs to someone, and isn't a showroom. But I loved it on the whole- it's such a clean, bright space! - and I felt like Will's presentation was a vast improvement from his last hosting foray (the judges disagreed).

Todd's space, like I said, seemed kind of okay to livingrooms I've ever been in. He took over and turned it into a monstrosity. He tried to to Toddlike carpentry "tricks," but was confounded by time, space and the presence of a begin with - nothing special, but like most of the load-bearing horizontal beam. The room he ended up with is cheap and ugly, in my book, and is like staring into an oven. The vicious red wall is NOT complemented by the vicious orange walls; the reds in the chaises (which i do like), the cushions and the carpets don't match. Having backless bookcases sets means everything needs to fight against the hideous redness. The sectional sofa is ugly. The wooden corner "bench" toybox he built is a lame storage idea; throwing all your kids' crap into a large bin is NOT organization. Moreover, as my mom pointed out, it's a hinged box for use by very small children; pinched fingers and bonked heads are a probability. Todd would have been much better off getting some sort of storage unit with canvas drawer-bins into which the kids' junk could have been sorted. The red area rug over the white carpet is dumb. I hate wall to wall carpeting, myself, but I hate rugs over rugs even more. Todd bought high-end gaming systems and TV, and the room seems set up more as a teenage boy's dream gaming room (those chaises) than anything else. And, as one of the judges pointed out, the bulk of the seating does NOT face the TV - and the family said they use the space for movie nights frequently.
Martha McCully tipped her hand and revealed her foolish infatuation by saying "I like watching Todd." Well, Martha, you're the only one. Todd is a toolbag of the first rate.

Now for Kim. Oh Kimmy! You had the most difficult challenge - a dirt-poor room at the end of a dirt road in Nowhere, West Virginia. Her shopping options were more limited, and I think she had a lot more to accomplish. Partly she took this challenge upon herself, by expanding her design to include the family's eating area, which, she explained, is visible from the livingroom, and thus should be included (I agree, and Vern gave her an A+ for that one). Kim's had the most dismal "before" which is why I'm posting a picture of it. Look at the sad, saggy vinyl blinds. The carpet remnants over plywood floors. the utter lack of anything approaching luxury. By comparison, the Indiana "before" room was a dream (this made me angry, to be honest).
Kim worked some wonders. The couple wanted rustic, and the final product manages to pull that off without being tacky or gimmicky. Now, if it had been up to ME, I would have gone Arts & Crafts "rustic," but maybe arts & crafts isn't how they roll in WVa. What she did was totally transform a dismal, cold-looking space (you know they freeze in there in the winters....the only souce of heat is the wood-burning stove). She put in a lot of attention and time, hand-staining (is there any other way?) the wood elements they liked, getting furniture and things unloaded and arranged in a mud-inducing rainstorm, schlepping from outpost-shop to outpost-shop to find what she needed for the room.
The results?

Again with the wall-to-wall carpet! bah! Throw down some nice pergo flooring. It isn't hardwood, I know, but my pergo floor looks pretty damn nice, and it's easy to clean mud and muck off of it. And since Mr. Homeowner (the home is a doublewide trailer) is a coal miner, mud and muck comes into the house every day. Even a larger tiled entryway would have been more practical. The judges criticized Kim mostly for her furniture layout, and I guess I see the critique. Things are kind of where you'd expect them to be; why not put the sofa as a "room divider" at the natural break, and then two chairs facing it, backs to the window? The chair and table in the foreground are sort of random, but they do face the wood stove which is now actually kind of nice to look at.
I think if it was my space to do, I would have gotten a small, really comfy loveseat, and angled it in front of the woodstove, instead of the chair and table. That way, on chilly nights, the couple could snuggle up near their heatsouce. If I had insisted on using that rug, I would have laid it between the stove and the loveseat.

I LOVE the log box/table Kim had her carpenter construct. It's really sleek and modern looking while still fitting the space wonderfully, AND being highly functional.

Kim's presentation, as always, was stellar.

Will's show has been cancelled, with means awesome Kim and the Toolbag will be off to Hawaii (?? was there some sort of cut rate if you have your reality show's finale in hawaii? see: top chef, season two). America, now is the time to do your duty and VOTE FOR KIM!!

does anyone but Martha McCully REALLY want to watch Todd toolbagging around without his shirt on?? what would his show be? Pimp my dorm room for 19 year old boys?

I'm ready for the finale, though; I'm dying to know what the challenge is, and I REALLY hope my boy SparkleJosh comes back to help!

flower dresses

2007-09-02T18:48:00.000-04:00

i have decided i want three dresses made/designed (this is all In My Head, because i have neither the skills nor the cash to make this happen).

It might be tacky, cliche or lame to design dresses after flowers, but I frankly don't care.

Dress #1: the blue Morning Glory dress. shaped exactly like a morning glory, and colored like one as well. high neck in front, low-cut curved back. it would have to be made of something swirly and matte - not shiny satins. maybe chiffon? It wouldn't be a pouffy prom dress, no no no. But it would have full trumpet skirt, with the white and deeper shades of violet inset somehow, and the bodice would be that lovely white.

Dress #2: the Tulip Skirt. Picture a tulip. Invert it. there. make a skirt.
I'm thinking a shade of purple, maybe even a Queen of the Night tulip-color (see picture at right). The hemline would be asymmetrical just like the tulip is. I imagine the top would be a snug, simple bodice made of the same fabric as the skirt. maybe something that goes slightly off-the-shoulder? or just a simple scoopy v-neck, mimicking the point of the petals/skirt?

Dress #3: the Honeysuckle Dress.
short, narrower cut (A-line skirt at most). creamy white with that gorgeous peachy color as an accessory. I picture the main skirt coming no longer than knee-length, and being quite narrow (not quite a sheath, but close). The white would be a slightly heavier fabric (but still something very light, just not sheer). Then there would be loose, narrow floating panels of that peachy/yellowy color that would stream loose from the waist or back. The dress would be sleeveless, with more of the peachy "streamers" draping down. I'd have a really elaborate hairstyle, possibly even some kind of tiny hat, with some sort of vertical element to mirror the stamens of the honeysuckle.

designers' challenge

2007-09-02T03:59:00.000-04:00

invite your friends to play!

i have this weird side porch that is mostly useless. i use it to store junk in. i want to turn it into a little "conservatory" on the seriously cheap.

I'll post pictures soon but my main question:

what color would you paint the walls in a conservatory? the one solid wall is rock; the rest are windows, french doors and a small bit of wall.

colors?

thank you for visiting the Parker

2007-08-31T02:21:00.000-04:00

Tonight's was the last episode of Welcome to the Parker, which I have found oddly enjoyable to watch (I love John the concierge, and Nathan the room service guy, for no apparent reason). Tonight the big non-surprise was the "we're letting you go" of Michael Twomey. The only surprise was that it happened in the first 15 minutes of the show.

Two guests were featured this week: Chris Anthony, a photographer/prima donna, who does what looks like pretty neat gothic/faux-victorian kinds of photography. He turned out to be a royal bitch, and came off like an asshole. The best bit about his stay at the Parker is that he brought along his hair stylist...............and it was DR BOOGIE! my favorite contestant on Shear Genius!

the other guests were a family of assholes; the parents (who had been together for 15 years) were renewing their vows in some shoddily planned ceremony organized by their lame children (the two boys are 16 and 18; so I wonder who their parents actually are?). The younger girls came off as bratty rude children, and were indecisive, poorly organized and weirdly demanding. yuck. but the vows were renewed and the mother cried while clutching her designer white poodledoodle or whatever the hell it was.

The show - and series - ended with the Parker holiday party. AGAIN, we were subjected to the clueless self-promotion of Twit and Twat the cocktail waitresses (danielle? andrea? angela? who cares?). These were the two "A-listers" who gave Annette a makeover and bitched and snarked about her appearance.....and patted themselves on their faux-tanned backs over how great they made her look in the end. Neither Twit nor Twat is terribly attractive; Twit especially, the blonde, has a face like a horse's ass. but whatever. Their screen time was weird; I felt like the show was trying to make fun of them, but at the same time, giving those bitches any screen time at all is just playing to their desires. Neither has the brains god gave a goat, so I'm sure they would only see "LOOK WE'RE ON TV! OMG!!!" and not understand how crappy and self-centered they appeared.

Darling Nathan looked great in his suit.
John the concierge can't dance for beans.

Michael Twomey, the show tells us in little blurbs, is now happily catering high-end horse show events. um, okay.

Andrea, his buddy and senior sales manager at the Parker, left the Parker not long after Michael did.

everyone else is still there, working away at pleasing unruly, entitled guests and maintaining an aura of happy chic!

I enjoyed this show, and I'm sorry it's ending, but I don't think I'll really miss it. I really enjoyed seeing all the "behind the scenes" stuff, especially in the details and logistics of running a swankery. And I like the Parker's "happy chic" aesthetic (thanks, designer Jonathan Adler). In particular, I loved the casual dining/poolside bar Lemonade Stand. Something about that just signalled vacation, relaxation and fun indulgence.

who's that girl?

2007-08-30T16:18:00.000-04:00

thesuperficial has pictures of Hayden Panettiere in France. I've never seen Heroes, and don't plan to, but I don't get the fuss over this chicklet. She seems to me to be just an excuse for guys to ogle a barely-legal chick in a "legitimate" way, instead of lurking around high schools.

Plus, her clothes are godawful ugly. This shirt looks like she borrowed it from Bea Arthur during her Golden Girls years; the gold lame thing makes her look like a knickknack from Wayne Newton's house.

a pointless historical crush

2007-08-29T04:20:00.000-04:00

for awhile now, I've been mildly interested in the tv show M*A*S*H. i've seen one or two episodes, and was intrigued and amused, but more than that, the final episode of the show plays an important role in a book i love, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

two nights ago, I finally saw that episode, all 2+ hours of it.

and it confirmed my suspicions:

I have a massive, massive crush on Captain BJ Hunnicutt (played by Mike Farrell).

I do not have a crush on the current Mike Farrell, who at 68 is older than my own parents. I admire Farrell's political activism.

But the 70s Farrell, the one who plays Hunnicutt?

i can't explain it. I don't especially like mustaches. He's much more ... butch... than my usual "type." but somehow, he's just...beyond dreamy. And when he starts wearing black converse high-tops instead of army boots, it's even worse. That tall, lanky build (he's 6'3") is my ideal.

i want to watch all 174 episodes in which he appears.
over and over again.

weirdly, the internet features very few pictures of him - plenty of Mr Farrell as he appears now, but not so many as Hunnicutt.

this is very unfortunate.

I have never had a crush on someone from the past before. it is very strange, interesting, amusing, and mildly embarrassing.

but just LOOK at the man!
how hot is this???

design*star Toolbag Todd

2007-08-28T01:07:00.000-04:00

as of Toolbag Todd hasn't butched it up enough by ripping off his tshirt at every chance, and performing vaguely xtreme-sport tricks (skateboarding, handstands, handsprings), his official Q&A on hgtv.com provides even more adolescent masculinity-posing:

Dream design project: Maxim magazine's headquarters.

ugh. ew. and icky.

but then Todd throws me for a loop, by claiming art deco and nouveau as two of his favorite design styles. by "nouveau," I'm assuming "art nouveau," although maybe there is a design style called nouveau that I don't know.

this hurts me. art nouveau is probably my very favorite style of anything ever, and deco is high on my list.

they're also stereotypically queer styles.

oh Todd. why must you confuse me so? Gay or Straight ?

answer: it doesn't matter because either way, he's still a toolbag!!!

design star 5: finally!

2007-08-27T01:41:00.000-04:00

Tonight's episode of Design*Star was weird like all the rest have been....the final four were randomly put into two pairs, and assigned projects in Wayne Newton's guest house. I'll skip the vulgarity of Wayne's actual house (and the utter silliness of having him as a guest client on the show) and get right to the challenge.

Kim, who I like more by the minute, and Robb the jackass were paired to tackle the kitchen; Malibu-Kendoll Todd and Will got the livingroom.

Everyone agreed that the kitchen project was more of a challenge (judges, Wayne, and the contestants). What I don't get is, given this, why didn't the kitchen team get some counterbalance, like an extra 2 hours or something? so they had a bit of a pass, or maybe the other team was critiqued more harshly.

anyway, the main drama was the interaction between the Jackass and Kim. He was profoundly condescending, loud-mouthed, abrasive and nasty. Disagreements are one thing; a dominant personality is another. But Robb was just a prick, to Kim and in the "confessional" interviews, saying that "if she had even half a brain...." she would just ride his coattails. It was ugly. And because Robb has been so buddy-buddy with Todd, I wonder if there isn't a broad streak of sexism in him. The fact that I don't like his design style doesn't hurt, either.

Todd and Will created a gimmick in a well-appointed room. Todd built a rotating platform to contain the livingroom furniture. It was semi-cool, but mostly....a gimmick. The judges seem totally swept off their feet by Todd; I think he's like a perpetual 15-year-old who happens to be good at carpentry. The revolving platform is definitely neat, but it's heavy to move, and - well, I don't know. The DESIGN of the space is very nice, and that seemed to be Will's handiwork. Todd imagined and built the centerpiece, but the real design and decor of the room seemed to be Will's. I find Todd's surferboy schtick to be tired, unappealing and immature. WHY the judges like him is beyond me; it's like the teachers in highschool fawning over the kid who gets away with murder because he has a glib tongue.
I like Will, a lot. He knows his stuff, design-wise, and even though he doesn't come up with superflashy tricks, he has consistently presented solid, lovely spaces. His personality is quiet, but not "flat," though he obviously needs to work on his presentation skills. Then again, season one's winner (the adorable David Bromstad) had awful camera skills and still won.

Still, the platform seems more awkward than anything; 360 degree views are all very nice, but somehow it seems to be a bit clunky. I imagine myself barking my shins and ankles on that platform daily. I love the chair on the platform, though.

For starters, with that kitchen: I hope that rock looks better in person, because i just don't love it. I'm puzzled by the wine cooler on the righthand side of the stone piece; is that extra piece of wood on the right a cabinet? it looks off-balance and awkward, though the storage shelves are very lovely. The wooden framing is just too heavy for my taste.
Kim did a lovely job selecting accessories; I like the buffet very much, and I LOVE the two tile-esque pieces hanging it above it. The little dining set is only meh - the chairs seem a little insubstantial in the space; the room is just a desert between the entrance and the chairs. I loved the glass-tiled backsplash, but that may be because I love glass tiles. I'm not sure it was the best choice for the space.

Curiously, the judges didn't talk much about the actual DESIGN. No one mentioned the refrigerator that didn't make it in on time. Wayne Newton and his wife Kat seemed to like both spaces very much. The judges ended up focusing more on personality because!
tonight was the night when the contestants presented their spaces on camera. I found Robb and Todd both far too butch. "sweet" is not the adjective I'm EVER going for in ANY interior design, unless it's a room for a baby or an old lady who loves roses. I really do wonder what KIND of show HGTV wants for the winner of this contest; David's wasted on Color Space, and his "sidekick" is a drip (even though I adore David, I rarely watch that show). I keep picturing those Manly Shows like "over your head" and such, where some dudely type fixes all your troubles without making you look whipped by your wife who wants all pink floral decorations.

Will explained the space, which was more than Todd did - all Todd said, essentially, was "Cool dude! check this sweet platform! it spins, dude!" Will discussed texture and design.

Robb just sucks.

Kim was FABULOUS. her presentation was cute, pleasant, intelligent and witty - and she is obviously a natural on camera. I really do love her; she's so damn normal and talented!

Robb's elimination showed even MORE of what an asshole he really is. I can't believe the judges left him in this long; Scott and SparkleJosh were far better designers, in my book, and a thoroughly repugnant personality is enough to get kicked off a hosting challenge. Robb's final word, of the judges' decision, was "Fools." He's like the Arrogant Hung of Top Chef fame: he never, ever saw that he was wrong, or that maybe there was some justice in the judges' decision.

what a freaking tool. I am SO glad that jackass is gone.

But I feel weird about the final three. They are a really disparate bunch; it's apples and oranges, really. Last year, with Alice and David, i felt like it really did come down to their final design. Both had lovely personalities and presentations. This group of misfits, though - I dunno. Kim is the only one I'd want to watch, but Will definitely has skills, and a kind of quiet presence that *I* appreciate, from inside my own introversion. I'd also love to see a Black guy hosting a design show. Or a Black woman.

In the end, neither of these designs from tonight's show was especially mindblowing. Robb's attitude was mindblowingly appalling, and thankgod, for once, the judges agreed with me, and he was cancelled.

I am firmly on Team Kim from now to the bitter end, and I will be voting!!!!

mom of the year

2007-08-26T17:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, well, MY mom wins Mom of the Year every year hands down, but you know: I really admire Angelina Jolie (and now Brad Pitt's) parenting.
Those star-shaped sunglasses are, somehow, proof to me that this woman not only knows what she's doing with her kids, but loves doing it.

My sister and I got shaped glasses when we were little, too; mine were hearts, hers were blue stars exactly like these.

It's the little things; these kids get the big things, obviously, because their mom is loaded. But the little things are what makes me admire Jolie as a mom!

Also: star glasses are awesome!

design star episode 4

2007-08-25T03:28:00.000-04:00

I missed the first showing of this, and didn't get to see the rerun until Friday night (unlike Bravo, HGTV doesn't rerun its shows ad infinitum).

I am HORRIFIED. Las Vegas might be a sexy dynamic new location, but it's also apparently totally devoid of taste.

I'm not really into high-end decor. Top Design sat crookedly with me in part because the designs and furnishings were TOO upscale; the aesthetic was far beyond my means and my interest. I watch design shows to steal clever ideas that I might replicate one day. Staging a booth in which the MAIN FEATURE, and really only item of interest, is a $5,000 chair, is NOT within my reach.

That said, I'm also not appallingly low-class and tacky in my design preferences, either. So Episode Four's challenge - design a wedding for two people with no taste - was just horrific.

The couple had extremely different desires: she wanted a lavender sparklepony wedding, he wanted "50s rockabilly/vegas style." She was, evidently, willing to cave totally. The design presentations were not spectacular; Kim's and Will's were the two that seemed most tasteful, as well as meeting the desires of both bride and groom. But based on the strength of stacked, gigantic revolving red dice, bride & groom chose the design of the Odious Robb.

The couple loved his design, though it didn't really incorporate much of the Princess Dream Wedding. Instead, it was big, tacky and hideous. Giant poker chips. Huge playing cards. Garish.

Vegas garishness is one thing for, say, the strip: the outside of casinos and bars and clubs. Everything is big and outsize in vegas - and it's where postmodernism got its start (sort of). But, as others have pointed out, Robb's design was painfully literal in its Vegasness:
The ugly arch reading Viva Las Vegas is neither clever nor stylish. It's perched on gigantic, ugly-colored stacks of poker chips, which were then draped to hide their ugliness, instead creating a BOWER of ugliness. The "flames" behind the dj booth look like something a 13-year-old would put in his basement/video game room. The lavender tablecloths and violet and white feather boa drapes are just ugly; and the feathers reminded me of the tweeny first design Robb participated in, the "living lounge" of ugliness and wasted space in their apartment. It looks like Claire's Boutique and PacSun and Hot Topic all had a baby together, and THIS room is what that baby vomited up.

I was really undone by the bride's excitement over the giant revolving dice. The fact that "they spin" seemed to just blow her mind. The fact that they are also enormous, cheap and tacky evidently didn't bother her, nor did the flashing red lightcubes in martini glasses which were used as centerpiece vases.

The fact that the couple was pleased with their space demonstrates their shitty taste. What's upsetting is that TWO people were eliminated based on the crappy needs of two tacky people. Christina's design ignored the "rockabilly" and focused instead on a My Little Pony sort of froth of lavender, so I guess she didn't meet their needs. BUT, and I think it does matter, her design wasn't awful. It's not like she created something that looked like baby poop. And the outsized poker chips, and Shirtless Todd's enormous guitars, looked like hell. (Now that I think of it, why did our two most butch manly contestants feel the need to go so......big? Compensating for anything?).

Sparkle Josh is my beloved, and losing him over this challenge....is horrifying. His style is not my style, but he does have taste and he can shop and choose accessories well (not everyone can). I actually LIKED his dollar store room; it reminded me a lot of Matt's early room on Top Design (which I also loved).

This is Matt's Top Design room, which is chic, tasteful and a bit glam (and definitely a "celebuteen" room - precisely the kind of girl he was designing for).

And this is Sparkle Josh's room. Everything in it came from the 99 cent store, except: couch, coffeetable, end tables, single lamp and bookcase. Matt's budget was considerably higher. Looking them over, the palette is the main similarity, but I find both rooms rather charming in similar ways.

The remaining Design "Stars" are not stellar. Todd and Robb have abrasive, obnoxious personalities and lame design. If you're a 13-year-old boy, you probably think they are fantastic dudes and designers. For the rest of us: ugh. Will is a very tasteful and quiet designer, but his personality is too hidden so far - I can't see him hosting a show. Kim is the only one I'd actually tune in to watch: she's cute, smart, talented, enthusiastic.

But none of the four is a Design Star.

raison d'etre

2007-08-25T00:19:00.000-04:00

This is my new blog, meant to be a public, all-purpose, multi-functional blog. It's where I plan to drop my thoughts on Bravo shows, books, films, gardening, pop culture, the occasional snippet of politics, music and anything else that crosses my mind. This is not my introverty diaryesque blog, nor is it my "professional" blog (which is where I write about children's literature and related subjects).

The coral and bells is a seventeenth-century multifunctional toy and objet. Ostensibly, it served as a baby's rattle and teething stick, but it also signified wealth and status, and is an object of beauty in its own right. I chose coral and bells for my blog title because the coral and bells represents, and IS, so many things (then, and now when it is a rare object, found almost exclusively in museum collections).

welcome, and enjoy!