29 September 2007

burden of (non) representation

I'm well into season two of QUEER AS FOLK, after watching the first season in a headache-inducing two days. I have to say I was kind of bored/unhappy with large parts of season one: Dr David was boring and annoying (I've known too many guys like him to really warm up to him on tv). The dear boys spent way too much time at babylon. Mel and Lindsey got on my nerves, as they do EVERY EPISODE!

i'm learning to appreciate the Brian Kinney character, and more importantly, learning to crush hard on Gale Harold, who played Brian.

And Emmett. My darling honeylove Emmett! I don't get why they play him as someone who has a hard time getting laid. I think he's freaking hot as hell. Emmett Honeycutt is almost my perfect man (aside from the gay thing). I even had a dream in which Emmett and I hooked up. Turns out in dreams, gay/straight don't count for ANYTHING! and the dream-Emmett was delighted to learn that a straight girl could be turned on by queeny effeminate behaviors.

I love Sharon Gless; I love Debbie and Vic. Debbie feels really familiar to me; she's the most Pittsburgh thing about that show. and I love her throaty hoarse voice!

but the more i watch, the more i think: debbie is the only straight person in the show. and she, as michael says, is "more of a fag than we are."

it makes me feel sad and left out, which is fine, since gays and everyone else who isn't a white person feel sad and left out from most tv. sometimes it's good to be in the minority. it helps reconfirm that I am, in fact, part of the majority. i am a woman, which gets me some bonus points, but a straight white woman still has it better than any color and any queer (except maybe some white gay men).

but what makes me saddest is the anti-hetero attitudes of the show's characters. i know we, the audience, aren't supposed to agree with Brian Kinney's "two kinds of straight people: the ones who hate you to your face, and the ones who hate you behind your back." but there isn't much countering it.

there doesn't need to be. there doesn't have to be. it just makes me feel bad that - well, i LIKE gay people. i haven't had a gay friend since college, but all the queers I've ever known in any capacity I've liked (wait no: there's this one bitch in my department, but he's the exception). i'm interested in queer culture, whatever that even means. it's part of what i work on professionally. it's part of what i enjoy personally (witness: queer as folk, and the nonstop stream of Gay Disco Hits in my iPod). i've always liked gays and gayness and gay stuff.
i just wish i felt like they'd like me.

i keep wanting to volunteer through the GLBT organization in town. but i'm afraid if i call, or show up at their center, they'll be like "honey, you're too straight to be here. go home."
and really - do i belong there? I'm especially interested in GLBT kids - teenagers, especially. i'd love to volunteer with high school outreach stuff. but - how can I help a queer kid?

i know i stereotype the gay community when i rave about it - i know a lot of gay people are just boring assholes. i know this because a lot of the human population is boring assholes. but in the last year, I've felt more interested, more engaged by, more comfortable with queer culture than ever before.

ah well. for the moment, i suppose my interaction with queer communities will have to be limited to places like the GayBoys' blog. and watching more and more episodes of Queer as Folk.

1 comment:

Marius said...

but what makes me saddest is the anti-hetero attitudes of the show's characters.

That's a good point. I think QAF could have done more to include straight people. Of course, there are all kinds of gay people. I'd say that most gay men and lesbians are quite tolerant and would gladly accept you and other straight people who are interested in LGBT issues. QAF represents a particular group of gays who prefer to surround themselves with other fellow gays.

By the way, I was a member of the University at Buffalo's LGBT organization in 2003. The Vice President at that time was a straight woman. She was elected president the following year.